IKEA: /eye-KEE-ya/ n. big box of cool sh*t.

Old Bob:

Drive down De La Vina. Find it at a yard sale or sitting out curbside. Squeeze it into the back of the Saab. Take it home. Repaint, Refinish, Repurpose*.

New Bob:

Drive down the 101. Find it in a giant blue and yellow box. Load it into the back of a very red, and very borrowed, Suburban. Take it home. Bygga, Tilverka, Struktur.

Of course, before you wander for hours through the Disneyland of Design, you must fortify yourself with a plateful of...



Rita and I have done "Mexican Folk Funk."
We've done "Pink Floyd Wright": otherwise known as "Arts and Crap".
Now we're going "Mid-Life Modern".

I always thought of "Veneer" as a four-letter word. Now I know it's Swedish for "Inexpensive".

Further Lessons in Swedish, brought to you by IKEA:


MALM

Supposedly this is an un-translateable word for a chest of drawers.

Bob's translation: What the hell am I supposed to do with all these?







EXPEDIT

Literal translation: Shopkeeper

Bob's translation: What the hell have I gotten myself into?









SKIRMA

Again no literal translation. Heaven-sent design for the masses.

Bob's translation: God help me.










LAVER

Literal translation: Let's face it... my Swedish to English  translator sucks.

Bob's translation: Stay away from the pretty lights!








Well... It all worked out in the end. The new place is looking very Pre-Fab Hip.(Although I admit, I was kept very busy Post-Fabbing.)












DAIM

I think I shall reward myself with too many of these individually-wrapped bite-sized bits of toffee chocolates.




Bob's Translation: Damn!

* Yes, I said "Repurpose". I've been watching too much HGTV.